I agree with Irvin Yalom, when he says: ‘If we do not fully understand ourselves, we do not fully understand others and cannot create a full relationship, in life and work ‘.

Self-reflection is important to create balance and understanding. My advice is, especially when we feel irritated or disappointed, pick up your journal and start writing:

Ask yourself open-ended questions:

• What is my irritation/disappointment about?
• What could I have done differently?
• Am I taking anything or anyone for granted, assuming they know what I need? In what sense?
• How come others do not get irritated but I do?
• Have I been irritated with the same person, in the same situation before?
• Have I been disappointed in the same person? What were my expectations? Are they real?
• How do I defend myself?
• Is this my coping mechanism?
• What do I need to say/do the next time I feel this feeling again?