Avoiding confrontation?
My client finds himself avoiding confrontation for the following reasons:
- Fear of rejection when standing up for himself.
- Fear of failing. Being stupid!
- Not believing he has a valid opinion.
- Unsure of what he needs and wants.
- Having had a negative experience or two.
- Possibility of hurting someone else’s feelings.
- Lack of confidence and conviction in his values and beliefs.
Conflict avoidance is a type of people-pleasing behavior that typically arises from a deep-rooted fear of upsetting others. Many of these tendencies can be traced back to growing up in an environment that was dismissive or hypercritical.
Do you also recognize this? Then you also know that these thoughts are based on convictions/ assumptions and are not helping you to improve the collaboration.
How could we possibly think the same way as anyone else? Know that your opinions will be different from almost everyone you meet. Just consider how different opinions are formed: parents, upbringing, culture, and experiences.
Let’s keep it simple: Collaboration is based on an alignment of expectations on content and process.
So put your anger and fear aside and make an appointment with the title "A new alignment on the mutual expectations". As if you were making an appointment with a client who is not satisfied.