Always “on” = hidden need to prove oneself

Client talks about being “always on,” especially after work.
• Chronic restlessness
• Tension in her body
• Lying awake a lot
• Easily irritated

My question: “What does your inner voice say when you’re always on?”

Her answer:
• If I’ve done this, then… peace will come.
• I have to earn rest.
• Then they’ll see what I’m capable of.
• Then I’ll get the promotion.

Conclusion: Need to prove oneself.
But because the need to prove oneself usually doesn’t feel like a need to prove oneself, it’s so difficult to recognize.

Because....
It disguises itself as something positive, such as ambition.
It is old and automatic, like a reflex, and feels familiar.
It is socially rewarded. You get applause (from stakeholders).
It protects something vulnerable: fear of being rejected.

Analysis through coaching and self-reflection provides insight and direction. You are in charge again instead of your inner voice with her assuptions.