4 tips to let go; “When things go wrong, don’t go with them.” ―Elvis Presley
Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak or wrong in any way. Sometimes it simply means you’re strong enough and smart enough to let go and move forward with your life.
1. First and foremost, give up the excuses you keep reciting to yourself.
Because all the excuses and explanations in the world won’t do you any good. They won’t add any value to your life or improve the quality of it by even the slightest margin. To fulfill your calling and get where you wish to go in life requires more than just thinking and talking. These feats require focused and sustained action. And the good news is, you’re perfectly capable of taking whatever action is necessary. You just have to choose to actually do it.
No one else can succeed for you on your behalf. The life you live is the life you build for yourself. There are so many possibilities to choose from, and so many opportunities for you to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Now is the moment to actually step forward.
Sooner or later, one way or the other, you will come to realize that it’s not what you lose along the way that counts; it’s what you do with what you still have. When you let go of the past, forgive what needs forgiving, and move forward, you in no way change the past, you change the future.
2. Once you’re over the excuses, give up the idea that you don’t have what it takes.
You do have exactly what it takes. Will it be easy? Absolutely not! Nobody is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will. Sometimes life will beat you to the ground, and keep you there if you let it. But it’s not about how hard life can hit you; it’s about how hard you can be hit and continue to move forward. That’s what true strength is. And that’s what winning the game of life is all about. So keep going.
In the end, all the small things make a big difference. Every step is crucial. Life isn’t about a single moment of great triumph and attainment. It’s about the trials and errors that slowly get you there – the blood, the sweat, the tears, and the small, inconsequential things you do on a day-to-day basis. It all matters in the end – every step, every regret, every decision, and every affliction.
The seemingly useless happenings add up to something. The minimum wage job you had in high school. The evenings you spent socializing with coworkers you never see anymore. The hours you spent writing thoughts on a personal blog that no one reads. Contemplations about elaborate future plans that never came to be. All those lonely nights spent reading novels and news columns and comics strips and fashion magazines and questioning your own principles on life and sex and religion and whether or not you’re good enough just the way you are.
All of this has strengthened you. All of this has led you to every success you’ve ever had. All of this has made you who you are today. And all of this proves that you have the strength to deal with the challenges in front of you. (Read The Road Less Traveled)
3. Give up focusing on what’s wrong, and start noticing what’s right.
What you see often depends entirely on what you are looking for. Do your best and surrender the rest. When you stay stuck in regret of the life you think you should have had, you end up missing the beauty of what you actual do have. You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now.
And you do not need ideal circumstances to move forward. The happiest and most successful people do not live with a certain set of circumstances, but rather with a certain set of attitudes. Choosing to be positive and grateful for what you have now is going to determine how you’re going to live the rest of your life. So look for something positive about today. Even if you have to look a little harder than usual, it still exists.
So don’t wait until everything is just right; it will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what! Get started now! With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger. Say it out loud: “I am determined to live a happy life no matter what my challenges are! I will turn all my tales of fury into tales of glory! I will turn all of my tales of woe into tales of WOW!” And no matter what happens, just do your best and appreciate what you’re learning. You won’t enjoy your life if you don’t enjoy your challenges.
4. Give up the tendency to get too caught up in other people’s judgments and opinions.
Honestly, the biggest prison you will likely ever live in is your fear of what other people think. You cannot let other people tell you who you are or what you want. You have to decide that for yourself. When you’re making big decisions, remember, what you think of yourself and your life is more important than what people think of you. Don’t let others make you feel guilty for living YOUR life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else, live it YOUR way.
The key here is to remember that it’s OK to listen to others sometimes, but not at the full expense of your own intuition. Because throughout your lifetime there will be many times when the world gets real quiet and the only thing left is the beat of your own heart. So you’d better learn the sound of it, otherwise you’ll never understand what it’s telling you.
The bottom line is that when you spend too much time concentrating on everyone else’s perception of you, or who everyone else wants you to be, you eventually forget who you truly are. So don’t fear the judgments of others; you know in your heart who you are and what’s true to you. You don’t have to be someone else to impress people. Let these people be impressed by who you really are.
Honestly, what does life matter if you lose yourself along the way? Even your mentors should teach you HOW to think, not WHAT to think. So if someone – anyone – is belittling your truth, it might be time to turn the other way. (Marc and I discuss this in detail in the “Relationships” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
If you feel like you’re stuck, or struggling to make progress, know that you are not alone. We are all in this together. However, there is also a good chance you’re holding on to something that’s holding you back. Which means you might be able to make things easier on yourself if you give this “something” up.
In fact, whenever Marc and I find ourselves running in place, we make it a point to evaluate our present situation, and then we ask ourselves questions like, “What’s holding us back?” and “Is there something we need to let go of, or give up, before we can move forward again?”