istockphoto-466622834-612x612.jpgVery often I discuss with women the imposter syndrome when they are in doubt about making a next career step. Research shows, When it comes to gender equality in the workplace, organizations are keeping a slow — and I do mean a very slow— and steady pace. In  years observing what causes self-doubt, particularly for women in male-dominated fields. they observed that there are numerous factors at play. Chief among them: gender bias that comes in both explicit and subtler forms. The end result? Highly skilled women succumb to stereotype-driven expectations. It begins early when girls as young as six stop believing that girls are the smart ones, while boys continue to . As women get older, these stereotypes discourage them from pursuing careers thought to be typically reserved for men. And, with fewer women in a field, subsequent generations  of women are deterred from pursuing them. It’s a vicious cycle, but it can be broken. 6 Tips:

When we are more than even preoccupied with “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, worry becomes a problem. 

While cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re difficult to give up because they’re often part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. 
You may think that worrying will eventually help you to find a solution to a problem or prevent you from being surprised by anything that happens in the future. 
You may think that worrying protects you in some way or even equate it with being responsible or caring. In order to stop worry and anxiety for good, though, you need to give up the belief that your worrying serves a positive purpose. Once you realize that worrying is the problem, not the solution, you can turn off anxious thoughts and regain control of your worried mind. (Authors: Lawrence Robinson, Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last )

Homework suggestions I give to my clients:

- During the night get up and write the doubts/thoughts down.

- Check:

  • A: Influenceable or not?
  • B: Solvable or Unsolvable?

- Talk to others about your worries. 

- Think in facts and do not assume that things are personal.

- Meditate and breath.

Counteroffer.jpgYou finally decide to start looking for a new job. You go through a lengthy search process, you’re presented with an enticing career opportunity, and get an offer you’re fully prepared to accept. But when you tell your current employer you’re planning to leave, they surprise you with a counteroffer. Should you stay or should you go? Research shows:

Nearly 40% of senior executives and HR leaders alike agreed that accepting a counteroffer from a current employer will adversely affect one’s career. Nevertheless, some 78% of senior executives and 80% of HR leaders indicated that it is sometimes acceptable to embrace a counteroffer. 

Consider the possible repercussions of accepting. Asked to check off as many negative consequences of accepting a counteroffer as apply, nearly 80% of senior executives and 60% of HR leaders cited diminished trust and compromised reputation among the executives and board members of the employee’s current company. Nearly 80% of senior executives and 67% of HR leaders cited the same consequences with the board and executives of the spurned company. And 71% of senior executives and 67% of HR leaders also said that superiors in the current company would question the employee’s loyalty going forward.

Counteroffers work out well in only 5% to 25% of cases, but only for a short time.

K.O.Kay & M.Cullen Harvard Business Review

The time will come when,
with elation and joy, you will greet yourself 
in your own mirror and each will smile and welcome the other and say:

assumption.jpgAssumption is probably a word that I use in every coaching session. Byron Katie says: “As long as you think that the cause of our problem is “out there”—as long as we think that anyone or anything is responsible for our suffering—the situation is hopeless. It means that we are forever in the role of victim, that we are suffering because of our thoughts, assumptions.”